BOOK BLITZ w/EXCERPT - CONTEMPORARY - THE ART OF ALMOST LOSING IT (Richmond Brothers, #3) by Alina Jacobs

The Art of Almost Losing It

The Richmond Brothers, #3

by Alina Jacobs

Publication date: August 4th 2026

Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

BLURB

There comes a time in every almost-thirty-year-old woman’s life when getting kidnapped off the street is preferable to admitting that the hot, rich boyfriend you’ve been bragging about for months does not, in fact, exist.

Yes, it’s terrifying being stuffed in the trunk of a Mercedes, but I would rather be locked in a stranger’s penthouse than sleeping on the floor of my parents’ apartment like the loser daughter I am.

Honestly?
It’s nice to get some alone time. And my own bathroom.

He bribes me with money not to call the police.

I scream at him for forcing me to go to brunch as his prisoner at the hottest restaurant in New York.

Now everyone in my parents’ aggressively posh Manhattan neighborhood thinks we’re dating.

Buckle up, buddy.
I have a full wedding itinerary to attend, and congratulations—you’re my fake boyfriend.

Unfortunately, my kidnapper is the worst fake boyfriend in the history of fake boyfriends.

He’s mean.
Aloof.
Emotionally unavailable.
And deeply offended by how much time I spend on my phone.

Meanwhile, I’m trying to ignore how yummy he smells, all muscular and tall as he fumes next to me in bed, furious because I asked him when the sexy portion of the kidnapping is going to happen.

It’s a fair question, though, right?!? I thought kidnapping came with benefits!

Guess my kidnapper didn’t want me that much after all.

Men lying about their desire for a relationship. Story of my life.

Now I’m trapped.
He’s miserable.

And somehow, this is starting to feel dangerously like a relationship.

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EXCERPT

The one time a hot guy shows interest in me… and he’s a violent kidnapper.

My screams cut off as he tosses in my laptop case. It lands on my ribs, knocking the breath out of me. He shoves my legs fully into the trunk, then tosses in the barking Lulu, then slams the door.

I assume it’s a mistake.

The expensive German car. The bespoke suit. The cologne that smells like money and expensive scotch—Men like him don’t grab women like me.

So why did he just shove me, in all my pizza-sauce-stained, Costco-clothes glory, into the trunk?

I needed a boyfriend, sure, but I did not expect him to arrive via a felony crime.

The engine purrs.

Wait.

Am I really being kidnapped?

Like… for real?

Sleet rattles against the roof as the realization hits.

Oh.

Oh no.

I’m trapped in the trunk of a stranger’s car. A dangerous man. Being driven God knows where.

Sure, he’s attractive—but that is deeply unhelpful information right now.

I’ll never see my family again. Never eat a dollar slice of pizza again—

Wait.

I squint.

Window.

This isn’t a sedan. This is an SUV.

I’m not trapped.

I haul myself up and pop my head over the back seat.

“You’re a crappy kidnapper!” I scream.

“Shit!” he yells—and nearly plows into a parked truck. “You—!”

The car jerks to a stop at a stop sign. He throws it into park and starts climbing over the seats toward me.

“You can’t kidnap me,” I say, panic creeping in. “You don’t want me. I’m not a girl anyone kidnaps.”

My dog barks.

Emerald-green eyes catch the light.

“Sit down,” he commands.

“My mom is going to be really upset if I don’t come home tonight,” I blurt. “Let me go.”

The doors lock.

I fumble in my purse. Find my pepper spray.

“Yes!” I whisper. “I’m a strong, independent —”

I spray… myself.

“Water,” I gasp, coughing, wheezing, blind.

I suck in a lungful of peppery air and yank at the door handle, begging it to open.

Too late.

“Stupid fucking girl,” he snarls, grabbing my jacket and dragging me forward.

“You didn’t even handcuff me!” I wheeze.

He pauses. “You really don’t know when to shut up, do you?”

He loosens his tie.

I gulp.

“I cannot believe,” he sneers, “that I kidnapped the most unattractive woman in Manhattan.”

Oh.

So… not the future love of my life after all.

 

Author Info

I write the kind of books I love—romantic comedies featuring snarly guys with hearts of gold, kick-ass heroines, and a swoon-worthy happily ever after! Also wine. And cupcakes.

When I’m not writing I can be found drinking tea, surrounded by my massive to-be-read pile! So many books...

You can connect with me on social media or find information on my books at my website.

Sign up for my newsletter so that you can get information about new releases, giveaways, and more!

http://alinajacobs.com/mailinglist.html

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BOOK BLITZ w/EXCERPT - ROM-COM - MR. EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE (The Seattle Svenssons, #3) by Alina Jacobs

Mr. Emotionally Unstable: A Romantic Comedy

by Alina Jacobs

Publication date: May 5th 2026

Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

BLURB

Someone is breaking into my house… and cleaning my kitchen.
At first, I think I’ve lost my mind. Then I decide it’s kinda nice—until the death threats start.

But worrying about stalkers is for people with disposable time.
Which I do not have, thanks to my entire family showing up unannounced to move in with me.
Yay! Surprise houseguests!

As a mature adult woman in her thirties, my stalker is the closest thing to a relationship I’ve had in years. No one’s lining up for a curvy woman with a bad attitude, bras with holes in them, and zero tolerance for man-children.
And no, Mom, I don’t need you giving my number to every creepy guy you meet at the grocery store.
I’m perfectly happy being single. I have my café, my neurotic overweight border collie, and the shadowy figure peering into my window. I don’t need a man.
Except… I do need to find my newly single little sister a boyfriend-slash-meal-ticket so she (and the rest of my houseguests) will move out.
I’d toss her to my mystery stalker, but he did my laundry, and I’m not ready to give up on those perks yet. Besides, I’ve already got the perfect man for her: billionaire, hot, and way out of my league.
Better yet, I no longer have a crush on him, at least not since Fitzgerald Svensson served me eviction papers with a side of insults disguised as flirting.

Now he keeps showing up at my sister’s dates.
Yes, it’s a group activity. We’re recreating our toxic childhood dynamics here, m’kay?
Which means he must be interested… right?
Only problem—he’s hanging around me instead of her.

But it’s an even bigger problem when I wake up one night pinned by a six-foot-five male with his hand over my mouth, his knee spreading my legs, whispering in my ear, “Surprise, Creampuff.”

This is a standalone romantic comedy with a food delivery addicted dog, a hilarious Granny and a heroine of a certain age who has lowered her standards. HEA guaranteed!

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EXCERPT

I follow their horrified gaze. “Creampuff,” I say, voice low, jaw locked so tight it might crack, “you sicced your granny on me? And here I thought you liked me.”

I’m not flirting.

I’m furious.

Because my lobby—my tower—is full of topless senior citizens with knitting needles, terrifying half my hotel clients. I take pride in my hotels. French antiques sourced myself, bespoke carpeting, and my hand-selected marble foyer backdrop a dozen bare breasts swaying like revolutionary flags.

“I’ve cast three hundred stitches of rage!” her grandmother roars, holding up a half-finished scarf like a battle banner.

“Get rid of them,” I snarl at her.

Winnie takes a nervous step back, eyes wide.

Good—she should be nervous.

“You stole my café,” she fires at me.

“And you threw coffee on me.” My voice is cold. Sharp. “Get these women out of my tower. Now.”

She hesitates. Like she’s considering taking their side.

Of course she is.

“Maybe they have a point,” she mutters.

I stare at her.

“Are you going to whip your shirt off and join them?” I snap.

Her face goes strawberry-jam red as my eyes drag—slowly—from her chest back to her mouth.

Her breath catches.

I feel it.

I ignore it.

“I wouldn’t. This is—we’re in public.”

I give her a sharp smile. “Do that,” I offer, “and I might let the protest continue.”

She swallows hard.

I step up to her, crowding her with my height. Sure, flirting’s fun, but this is business.

Her eyelashes flutter.

“And here I thought,” I say, “I was one of your biggest clients.”

Her face blanches. Sure, the fresh-pastry budget is an insignificant line item to me, but to her small business? It’s a lifeline.

She looks like she wants to die.

Good. Let her feel the pressure. She’s not the only one who can be cornered. If she loses this hospitality contract, she’s finished. We both know it.

But only I know that I won’t rip up the contract.

Set her free?

Never. She belongs to me. Wholly.

She just doesn’t realize it yet.

I follow her as she rushes toward her grandmother, my hands jammed in my pockets, in full control as I slowly trail her.

Over by the fireplace, two elderly women string up a knitted banner.

KNOTS NOT HOTELS!

“You need to grow a pair,” her granny is shouting at her. “You can’t let a man treat you like shit and still expect to hit that.”

My eyebrow lifts.

Winnie glances back at me. “He’s not hitting anything.”

“If you don’t get these half-naked elderly women out of my tower, I might.”

“Gran…” Winnie begs.

Her granny steps into my space, hands up for a fistfight.

“You’re a bully.”

“Booo!”

“Bread, not beds!”

“Crochet, don’t pay!”

The topless women encircle us.

I squeeze my eyes shut. If they’re not Winnie’s, I don’t want to see them.

“He acts like he’s never seen tits before,” Granny Frances huffs. “Maybe you should fuck the neighbor’s son, Winn.”

My eyes snap open. Straight to Winnie.

Heat. Anger. Something darker. “Is that why you refused to go on a date with me, Creampuff?”

Her chin lifts. “No. I refused because I hate you.”

I exhale, steady, even. Then I reach up and undo my tie. Watch her eyes bug out as she realizes what I’m doing.

“NO CROISSANTS, NO PEACE!”

I twist off my dress shirt. It’s not lost on me that her gaze slides down my face to my collarbone, down my chest, down…

The chanting starts to trail off.

“Are we sure he needs to be protested?”

 

Author Info

I write the kind of books I love—romantic comedies featuring snarly guys with hearts of gold, kick-ass heroines, and a swoon-worthy happily ever after! Also wine. And cupcakes.

When I’m not writing I can be found drinking tea, surrounded by my massive to-be-read pile! So many books...

You can connect with me on social media or find information on my books at my website.

Sign up for my newsletter so that you can get information about new releases, giveaways, and more!

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Instagram / Bookbub / Newsletter

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BOOK BLITZ w/EXCERPT - ROM-COM - MR. NOT YOUR SAVIOR (The Seattle Svenssons, #2) by Alina Jacobs

Mr. Not Your Savior!

The Seattle Svenssons, #2

by Alina Jacobs

Publication date: August 5th 2025

Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

BLURB

When your mean boss asks you if you’re ready to admit defeat—and move out of his car…you wonder where you went wrong in life.
Two weeks ago, I was an optimistic office girl with a Pinterest vision board and a dream.
Now? I’m standing in a billionaire’s penthouse office, trying not to throw a donut at his smug, perfect face.
McCarthy Svensson is my new boss-slash-personal tormentor.
Though he thinks he’s my only protector.

He’s wrong. He’s way worse than the merry-go-round of ex fiancés who may or may not be stalking me, including ex-fiancé number one of three, who fakes his death then pops up out of a casket. Alive.
Yes, I have a messy dating life.
I like to think it makes me unique and quirky!
He doesn’t seem to think so.

When he growls, “I’m not helping you until you admit you need me,” I slam a binder against his chest and smile sweetly.
“Pick your fake girlfriend, buddy. Deadline’s midnight.”
He smirks. “As long as she’s nothing like you.”
Cool.
Now all I have to do is convince this ice-cold bastard that I’m exactly what he needs…

No not like that! I’m trying to save his reputation and my job.
And I’m not saving either if I keep letting him finger me in the back seat of his limo…gulp.

Stalkers, hot but toxic bosses, a granny with a flamethrower… This full-length, stand-alone, enemies-to-lovers romantic comedy with all of the crazy laughs and of course the perfect happily ever after!

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EXCERPT

I lean over. I might not be pissing on Brock’s grave, but I am going to spit on him. Symbolically, mostly. I don’t want to go to jail for defiling a corpse. Bethany really would fire me then.

But as I lean over, there’s motion.

I’m literally losing it, I think.

His corpse hasn’t just smiled, has it?

“B-B—Brock?” I stammer, then I scream when a cold hand shoots up and grabs my neck.

“Vampire! Help! Zombie!” I slap at him.

Still screaming, I scramble back, tripping over chairs, falling and banging my knees. My dress hem rides up my stress-eating-enhanced thighs as I try to escape that unholy thing in the coffin.

It’s sitting up with cold, lifeless eyes.

“Call the police! Call the army! Help!” I look around wildly for someone with a flamethrower or a gun.

Except… I’m the only one upset. No one is freaked out that Brock has risen from the dead. No one is screaming from fear. Instead, they’re… laughing?

“Oh my god!” Brock is clutching his sides. “Oh my fucking god, your face!”

His friends from the YouTube channel are circling vultures with cameras as everyone howls at me.

“Did you get her falling?” One of the camera men motions to the other.

I grab my skirt. “What the hell? Are you kidding me? This was a prank?”

“I can’t believe you fell for it!” Brock’s laughing hysterically in the casket while I sob on the floor.

My ex leaps out of the coffin and swaggers over to me. “Surprise! I always knew you cared, baby.”

The cameras are in my face as he crouches down in front of me.

“Aww, you’re crying over me. Come here, give me a hug.”

I’m in shock; I don’t know what I’m doing as I let him wrap his arms around me.

My ex leans in to kiss me on the head.

“Hey, man, you’re ruining the shot,” one of the cameramen complains.

“I don’t give a fuck about your fucking bullshit YouTube channel.” A massive arm wraps around my waist, then I’m yanked upright and back.

I cling to McCarthy as he holds me, my legs jelly.

The room is spinning.

I’m going to puke.

I left Brock after he played one too many stupid jokes on me—and now this?

“Why would you do this?” I whimper. “Make me think you’re dead?”

“The content, man.”

“Don’t fucking talk to her.” McCarthy tucks me protectively to his side.

 

Author Info

I write the kind of books I love—romantic comedies featuring snarly guys with hearts of gold, kick-ass heroines, and a swoon-worthy happily ever after! Also wine. And cupcakes.

When I’m not writing I can be found drinking tea, surrounded by my massive to-be-read pile! So many books...

You can connect with me on social media or find information on my books at my website.

Sign up for my newsletter so that you can get information about new releases, giveaways, and more!

Website / Facebook / Goodreads / Bookbub / Instagram / Newsletter

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Mr. Not Your Savior!

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BOOK BLITZ w/EXCERPT - HOLIDAY ROM-COM - ELF AGAINST THE WALLL (Wynter Brothers, #2) by Alina Jacobs

Elf Against the Wall

Wynter Brothers, #2

by Alina Jacobs

Publication date: November 12th 2024

Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Holiday, Romance

BLURB

When you kiss your perfect boyfriend under the mistletoe…only for your cousin to scream to the family that you stole her man, Christmas is OVER.

In my defense, I didn’t know my boss—yup, boss. Buckle up because this is messy—was my cousin’s newly minted and totally lying fiancé. I thought he was the Nutcracker Prince come to finally show my family that I, too, was worthy of putting the star atop the Christmas tree.

I was so wrong.
Now my entire family thinks I’m a ho ho ho.
I’m at the top of the naughty list, not in a fun Elf on the Shelf way, but rather in a snide-comments-at-brunch and sitting-at-the-kids’-table kinda way.

I have to clear my name, or Christmas is ruined. Again.
What better way than to blackmail my family’s number one sworn enemy?
Anderson Wynter is this desperate elf’s last hope. Six-foot-five, ethically challenged, with washboard abs and a death wish, Anderson is the perfect weapon to expose my ex and help me get back in my family’s good graces.
That is, until the weapon massively backfires… and no, not like that.

Anderson goes full Nightmare Before Christmas and shows up at my family’s annual holiday party in nothing but tattoos and a motorcycle helmet and tells everyone we’re dating.
Yep, that kicks me off the naughty list and sends me straight to the Grinch’s garbage dump.

Now I’m chained to a motorcycle-riding bad elf with terrible morals and an even worse attitude—one who sticks his hand down my shirt in the middle of my parents’ posh country club and tells me to ride him like I do his bike.
When I slap him, he just smirks and asks if I fluff my marshmallows while fantasizing about betraying my family with him.
As if.

No way am I sleeping with the man my entire family hates.
Because that won’t just ruin Christmas.
It’ll ruin the rest of my life.

Naughty elves of Christmas checking in! We’re drunk caroling, eating cookies at midnight, surviving family drama, and drooling over hot, unattainable men who are oh so wrong for us. This standalone holiday romantic comedy has all the Christmas cheer you can fit under the tree and a happily ever after guaranteed!

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EXCERPT

There was a man—a huge man!—in my father’s study, all in heavy black motorcycle gear, a helmet hiding his face.

Snowball had her needle-sharp teeth latched onto the robber’s pant leg, and he was batting at her roughly, trying to knock her off.

“Don’t you hurt my dog!” I screamed, picking up a priceless wood statue my parents had brought back from their anniversary trip to Japan and racing after the attacker.

He grunted in surprise but raised his arm too late to block the statue from crashing into his motorcycle helmet, shattering the tinted visor.

Eyes like a raging winter storm glared back at me through the broken glass.

I hefted the statue again, and it connected with one of his massive arms.

The hit didn’t even knock him off-balance.

“Oh shit,” I whimpered as he took a step toward me.

The huge arm came up, knocking the statue out of my hands to split on the floor.

I spun to escape but tripped on the corner of the rug and crashed to the floor, yelling unintelligibly as he pounced on me, pinning me on my back. His huge gloved hand covered my mouth and nose so I couldn’t scream. I could barely breathe.

“Shut up,” the deep voice ordered, slightly muffled by the broken motorcycle helmet.

I struggled under the massive male body that had me trapped on the floor, clawing ineffectively at him.

“What the hell?” he growled. “Fuck, I need to do something with you.”

Was he going to hurt me? Or take me with him to be—Gulp—disposed of somewhere else?

Don’t let yourself be taken to a second location!

But I couldn’t budge all the muscle and sinew holding me down.

“Motherfuck—” he roared, snatching his gloved hand back from my mouth as Snowball bit him, her sharp teeth sinking through the gloves into his thumb.

Sucking in shuddering breaths, I pummeled the man’s helmet as he shook his hand, Snowball not letting go as he flapped her around.

Scraping my nails on his neck, I managed to drag his helmet off his head and hoisted it, banging it on his face and shoulders as he cursed, finally shaking the dog and the glove free.

His tattooed hand made a fist and punched the helmet out of my grasp. His knee pinned my hip to the floor. As he raised himself slightly, his face was lit up by passing headlights.

“Oh my god,” I whimpered, eyes bugging out of my head as I took in his chiseled face, strong jaw, black hair, wintery gray eyes, and scars on his cheek and across one eye.

“You’re the… the… the…”

“The… the… the…” he mocked as he catalogued my dawning recognition.

 

Author Info

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!

http://alinajacobs.com/mailinglist.html

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BOOK BLITZ w/EXCERPT - ROM-COM - MR. ABSOLUTELY NOT! (The Seattle Svenssons, #1) by Alina Jacobs

Mr. Absolutely Not!

The Seattle Svenssons, #1

by Alina Jacobs

Publication date: August 6th 2024

Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

BLURB

Armed with comfy pants, overpriced coffee, and a highly anxious emotional-support corgi, I prepare to face him.
Corporate boss.
Villain.

I step into his office. His perfect mouth twists into a sneer.
There is no heart of gold beneath that suit, just a big black pit. He’s a shark in the frothy waters of high-stakes finance.
He might be the quintessential asshole CEO, causing all in his path to quake in fear, but he’s never had to face down a basic bitch in her thirties.

I am exactly like the other girls—I adore Starbucks, greige home decor, and making snarky jokes with my bestie. I’ve even inherited a stalker from an ill-advised singles party.
Yeah, the stalker is… a problem, one I’m hoping will just go away if I ignore it.

I can’t ignore him, though.
He’s all broad shoulders and snide comments, picking apart everything about me as he circles me, going for the kill.
He would never fire me, though. There’s no fun in that. He wants me to quit, to have a mental breakdown.
Well, he can get in line behind my crazy gold-digging sister, my guilt-tripping mother, and the aforementioned stalker.

He pins me with his gaze.
I brace myself, waiting for the verbal blow to come…
Instead, he says, “I need a date tonight, and unfortunately, it has to be you.”

This is a full-length, enemies-to-lovers romantic comedy, complete with smokin’ hot-but-morally gray heroes, a smidge of suspense, and of course the perfect happily ever after!

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EXCERPT:

After a cold shower, I wrap a towel around my waist as I step out then lather up to shave. I’m just rinsing off the straight razor when something slimy and rough runs against my leg.

I strangle a curse as the pudgy corgi stumbles back, tripping over the bath mat.

“Mandy!” I bellow, wrenching open the slightly open door. “Mandy!”

“Scram,” I tell the animal. “Out.”

It runs under the vanity and stares at me.

Dammit.

“Mandy!”

Her footsteps are soft over the carpet as she hurries to the bathroom.

“Salinger? Salinger, what the—” The door opens a crack.

“Eep!” She jumps back out of view behind the door.

“Your dog, that’s what.”

The animal lets out a whine.

“Oh, Pepper, come. Come!”

The dog ignores her.

“Get in here now and get that animal.”

Mandy makes that squeaking nose again. The corgi sneezes.

“I can’t. You’re not wearing any clothes.” She’s still hiding behind the door.

“Mandy…” Warning laces my voice.

The door creaks open. Mandy, hand over her eyes, takes a hesitant step inside.

“It’s under the vanity.” I point.

Mandy walks into a wall.

“Oof.” Groping around with her free hand, she begs, “Pepper, come on. You know you can’t be in here. We talked about this, remember?” Her hip bangs into the side of the vanity. “Ow!”

“A few feet to the left.” I run some product through my hair. I’m not one of those men who rolls out of bed, washes their hair once a week with dish soap, and calls it a day. It takes time to look like someone you would trust with billions of dollars.

“Pepper!” Mandy’s voice is pleading. “Pepper, please just get out of there.”

“Christ.” Grabbing the robe that hangs on the back of the door, I shrug it on, sidestepping her as she walks straight into the glass door of the shower.

“Uncover your eyes.” I tie the belt.

“Nuh-uh.”

“Mandy.”

Her fingers spread slightly, and her brown eyes peer at me.

“I’m wearing a robe. Get your animal. This is absurd.”

Mandy’s still peering through her fingers, and she gropes under the vanity, trying to grab the dog. It. Does. Not. Want. To. Leave.

It makes a wheezing sound as she finally drags it by its back feet out from under the vanity.

“I’m so sorry about that, Salinger.”

Mandy’s corgi side-eyes me as Mandy tries to scoop it up with one arm.

“You see me every day,” I remind the dog.

Its lip curls up.

“Mandy.” I point to her dog.

“She went out before I brought her up.” Mandy sounds out of breath.

“No. It looks crazy.”

The whites of the dog’s eyes are showing, and her ears are laid back against her head.

“That’s just how she is,” Mandy says.

“She’s not going to freak out at the charity function. Is she? Do you have medication for her or anything?”

Kneeling down in front of the dog, Mandy whispers, “Let’s try and keep it together. I’ll take you to Olive Garden for a personal plate of pasta, no garlic. But not ’til after the event because I know you’ll get an upset tummy.”

“This is going to be a fucking disaster,” I say to the ceiling. “And where is my date?”

 

Author Info

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!

http://alinajacobs.com/mailinglist.html

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Bookbub / Instagram

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BOOK BLITZ w/EXCERPT - HOLIDAY ROM-COM - GOOD ELF GONE WRONG by Alina Jacobs

Good Elf Gone Wrong

by Alina Jacobs

Publication date: November 14th 2023

Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

BLURB

When you catch your fiancé cheating on you with your sister on Christmas Eve, the elf hat comes off.
I’ve always been the good girl—the anti Scrooge—the one who sacrifices for her guests, bakes cookies for her neighbors, and stays late after a party to clean up.
I don’t mind. I like being on the nice list.

I kept smiling when I caught my fiancé coming down my sister’s chimney on Christmas Eve.
I gave polite congratulations when they got engaged on Christmas morning.
And I even offered to help decorate for their holiday wedding despite the fact that was supposed to be my dream wedding.

But when my sister cuts up our great-grandmother’s one-hundred-year-old wedding dress and turns it into a skank show, even though that was the dress I was going to wear on my wedding day?
Well, this elf is torching down the North Pole.

And what better way to get revenge than giving those cheaters a taste of their own medicine?
This good elf is bringing the bad boy home for Christmas.
Hudson is a six-foot-five, coldhearted, tattooed bad elf with a perpetual sneer and washboard abs.
He’s exactly my sister’s type.
And he’s going to help me nuke her wedding from orbit on the night before Christmas.

What he is not supposed to do is grab my ass in the kitchen while I bake gingerbread.
Or crawl in my bed half naked.
And he’s definitely not supposed to smirk and tell me to commit to our fake relationship right before he goes down on me.

Guess there’s a reason the good elves stay far away from the bad.

Good elves of Christmas unite! We’re ogling the tattooed chests of shirtless bad boys, baking massive amounts of cookies, drinking all the wine, and trying to survive recently divorced grandmothers who have a pathological obsession with our love lives. This standalone holiday romantic comedy has all the Christmas cheer you can fit in your stocking and a happily ever after, guaranteed!

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EXCERPT:

Knitting clutched in my hands, I turned to the bad boy sitting next to me.

“Do … um …” I cleared my throat. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

His finger paused on the page he was turning. He fixed those pale-silver eyes on me, a dusty gray like the winter sky.

“No. Why? Are you offering?”

“Sort of. See, I kind of need to break up my sister and her boyfriend. She’s dating my ex. He’s a jerk. It’s complicated. But I need you to be my boyfriend so I can ruin her wedding. I don’t know if you do that type of work?”

I smiled hopefully.

The book closed with a loud thud.

He looked angry.

“Er, never mind,” I squeaked and held up my knitting. “I’ll get started on those baby socks. Forget I said anything.”

But he didn’t go back to his book.

“So you want a fake boyfriend.”

“Um, yeah. I mean that was the plan. But plans change …”

Those ghostly eyes still locked on mine, he leaned over, his huge body crowding my space.

I scrunched against the window.

“You sure you can handle it?” he asked in a deep, gravelly voice. He smelled like leather and the winter wind.

No. No, I don’t think I can.

I swallowed. The empty Advent calendar was digging into my side.

“Yes,” I squawked.

“Prove it,” he said, his breath cool on my cheek.

He twisted out of his jacket, the ridges of muscle under the tight gray T-shirt flexing and rippling as he shrugged off the garment.

“Give me a hand job.” The baritone voice deepened. “I have my jacket on my lap. No one will know. Just go for it.”

My eyes were about as big and round as Pugnog’s and ready to pop out of my head.

“Unzip my fly,” he breathed against my mouth, “and stroke my cock.”

My stomach was flip-flopping. The air between us was supercharged, and my skin felt tight and prickly.

“I-I can’t,” I stammered.

He huffed out a laugh, smirked, and pulled his jacket back on, the leather creaking.

“Thought so.” He sat back in his seat and opened up his book. “You’re weak. You have an elaborate revenge plan all mapped out, yet you clearly can’t handle having a fake boyfriend.”

 

Author Info

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

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BOOK BLITZ w/EXCERPT - ROM-COM - THE ART OF AWKWARD AFFECTION by Alina Jacobs

The Art of Awkward Affection

by Alina Jacobs

Publication date: September 4th 2023

Genres: Adult, Comedy, Romance

BLURB

I admit it was me who shouted, “Looking good, hot stuff!” at Mr. Richmond this morning, but I didn’t mean it like that.
Yes, Mrs. HR Lady, I know how it looks. Believe me, I am totally anti-catcalling, but that’s not what that was. Honest. I was paying him a compliment!
That’s kind of what I do: I’m a proud, small-town Floridian, and Manhattan is craving some Florida sunshine—nothing like a sincere compliment to turn those New York frowns upside down!

Grayson Richmond needs some positivity.
Have you seen how grumpy he is?
Sure, he’s the big boss, but I’m always at his house, so we’re kind of, well, not friends, that would be awkward, but like…
Okay, so no, I didn’t actually meet him until today. I only go to his penthouse to drop off the dry cleaning…

Wait, I’m sorry, he felt threatened? Are you kidding me?
I’m dead broke, my fashion style is Disney adult, and I’m five feet tall when I stand up straight. I’m twenty-three and look like I’m twelve. People constantly stop me and ask me if I lost my mommy.
Grayson is six foot five, one of the richest men in Manhattan, and literally owns multiple city blocks and two of the tallest skyscrapers in the city, which is, by the way, totally a phallic calling card.

Yes, I understand that Mr. Richmond takes these matters very seriously.
No, I’m not making a mockery of this company or of him.
Yes, I will return to my duties as Mr. Richmond’s lowly assistant of the assistant to the secretary.
No, I’m not being snarky. Believe me, my credit card debt and I are very happy to have this job.

Also, I hate to ask, but Mr. Richmond didn’t say anything about the notes of positive affirmation in his underwear drawer, did he?
It wasn’t anything awkward like “I want to bang you.” Because, you know, I don’t want to. Not at all.
Is he hot? Washboard abs, that jaw, those hands—phff yeah! After all, my momma didn’t raise no liar. But I’m not going to like, tell him, because that would be weird.
Wait, what? He wants to see me in his office? Now? Like now now?
Gulp!

This is an enemies-to-lovers, grumpy New York billionaire boss versus Florida-sunshine assistant, stand-alone romantic comedy! If you like cupcakes, sparkly stickers, and hot guys in suits whose rigid routines get a hilarious shake-up, this book is for you! Happily ever after guaranteed!

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EXCERPT:

I picked up the mug of black tea and tried not to stare at the buttons that were threatening to pop on Lexi’s blouse and let her t*** spill out.

I took a large swallow of the scalding-hot water.

“You two are harshing his snarly, self-important, condescending vibes. It’s the gestapo up in here. A man can’t even cuss out his own assistant in peace. Shoo!” Lexi waved away the two older women. “Can’t you see you’re smothering him? Some people,” she said to me, cupping a hand to the side of her mouth.

“Can we please fire her?” Anthym shrieked.

“But then who will sort our dear leader’s underwear?” Lexi asked magnanimously.

“You’re not supposed to be touching his underwear.” The HR director was appalled.

“I was folding them Marie Kondo style, to bring joy to Mr. Richmond’s life,” Lexi said primly.

“Oh my god, you left the note,” I said before I could stop myself.

The office was dead quiet.

 

Author Info

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!

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BOOK BLITZ w/EXCERPT - HOLIDAY CONTEMPORARY - RESTING GRINCH FACE by Alina Jacobs

Resting Grinch Face

Frost Brothers, #5

by Alina Jacobs

Publication date: November 17th 2022

Genres: Adult, Contemporary, Holiday, Romance

BLURB

I might not be able to ruin his life, but I will ruin his Christmas.
Yeah, I’m totally a grinch. But I come by it honestly.
Because of Oliver Frost, I flamed out at Harvard in the most humiliating way possible.
Now I’m back in my small town—just in time to suffer through a display of small-town Christmas cheer so festive it will make you puke your eggnog. But who cares about being home for the holidays when you live with your family like a loser and have to share one bathroom with seven other people?

I plan to spend my Christmas purgatory being tsked at by elderly residents and passive aggressively prodded by my mom’s friends about what I plan to do with my life.
I don’t know, Deborah, work in the Christmas market and get screamed at by tourists because I didn’t put enough sprinkles on their little brats’ coffees? Seriously, who gives five-year-olds that much caffeine anyway?!

See? Like I said. A grinch.
I hate Christmas.
I set a nativity scene on fire.
Got in a fistfight with an elf—I lost, by the way.
And threw a vat of Snowman Surprise all over Oliver. Don’t ask. Small-town Christmas insanity.
Sleigh what? Oliver is here???
The man who humiliated me and ruined my life?

Ho ho ho, fuck no.

He doesn’t deserve a quaint small-town Christmas.
He doesn’t deserve a fancy Christmas tree from my family’s farm.
And he certainly does not deserve to win a bottle of whiskey in the daily Christmas market raffle.
Goddamn, I needed that drink.
He should be haunted like Ebenezer Scrooge by the Ghost of Christmas Past. Or at least the Ghost of Hookups Past.

Momma’s gonna have herself a very merry Christmas revenge.
Swapping the salt and sugar so his Christmas cookies are ruined? Be still, my shriveled little heart.
Spying on him so I can gather recon to ruin his holidate? Damn, I forgot how ripped his chest was.
Sneaking down his chimney to steal all the presents under his tree? Amateur hour.
Until I get caught…

Guess I’m spending Christmas in jail.
But when he sees I’m not wearing a bra under my ugly Christmas sweater, Oliver smiles like Santa has come early.
Crap! I knew I should have worn my good underwear.

Hold on to your stockings because the eggnog is spicy and mostly booze. This is a fuck-second-chances, Santa-stalker, holiday-revenge romantic comedy. Featuring Christmas-hating heroines with poor decision-making skills, ripped guys who will leave a very large package under your tree, and adorable corgis dressed up as reindeer, this standalone book has a happily ever after, guaranteed!

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EXCERPT:

I slid like a squirrel straddling the roof peak, scooting along the ridgeline to the massive brick fireplace. I pried the round ceramic top off and stuck my head inside.

The Victorians liked their fireplaces.

While my parents’ wood-burning fire was more of a stovepipe, this house had been built to hold a massive fire.

I swung my feet over and shimmied into the chimney. Below me, Max must have figured out what was up because he was barking, the noise echoing up the chimney shaft.

“Dang, I can’t believe I fit,” I marveled. The cold air whipped my face, and I had a moment of clarity.

“Maybe this was a bridge too far,” I said and tried to hoist myself back up.

The chimney rim was slick with ice. My hand slipped. Then I fell down into the sooty black tube.

I stopped abruptly, my teeth knocking together.

“Help,” I squeaked.

I was stuck in the chimney, my arms wedged up above my head. Every time I let out a breath I slid farther down. My skirt was wedged under my boobs, and my sweater was wrapped around my head and neck.

“Help!” I rasped, kicking my legs. “Max, get help.”

The dog’s frantic barking changed to excited yips.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around my soot-covered thighs.

In any other scenario, I would have been really put out that Oliver was finally touching me only after I had flaked on working out the past year and developed a layer of winter flab. But I just wanted to be free. It was difficult to breathe.

“Save me,” I forced myself to whisper.

“Shit,” Oliver said, giving a solid tug on my legs.

I wedged down farther.

“I think you’re stuck in there.” His hands disappeared.

“Don’t leave me,” I begged.

His hand was back, his thumb stroking me reassuringly on my ankle.

“Don’t worry. I’m going to call the fire department. We’ll probably have to dismantle the chimney. I’m sure my neighbors will complain to me about it.” I heard the eye roll in his voice. Then his phone emitted beeps.

I kicked my feet. “Don’t you dare, Oliver Frost. Don’t you dare call the fire department. My mother will find out. I’ll be the talk of the town for years. Decades. It will be on my tombstone.”

“I can’t leave you here,” he said, voice echoing up the shaft.

“Oh, yes you can. I insist. I’ll be dead and done rotting in about three weeks. Then we can all just pretend this never happened.”

“Are you insane?”

Oh God. I had a horrible thought.

He can probably see straight up my crotch.

Was I wearing my nice underwear? Did I even own any sufficiently nice underwear?

“Please,” I begged. “My life is shit. Please just try pulling me out one more time?”

“I’m afraid to make you more stuck. Embarrassment won’t kill you.”

“It literally will,” I shrieked with my remaining breath.

Oliver muttered something that sounded like “God save me from this woman.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, moving the logs and the metal grate out of the way. “I’m giving this one shot. Then we’re going to host the fire department for the second time in as many days.”

After a rustling of fabric, his large hands slid up my bare legs.

“Sorry for manhandling you like this.”

His bare arms circled my waist, and I squawked as he wrapped them around my bare torso, connecting my body with his.

I could feel his bare chest against my thighs.

His head was somewhere in crotch vicinity, and he squeezed me tight.

Maybe I could just tell him to eat me out and then die happy.

Oliver gave a sharp hard tug. My sweater slipped up.

He adjusted his grasp and pulled, grunting hard.

“I think I’m moving,” I called.

He gave one more strong tug. My sweater ripped, and then I was free, tumbling down in a heap of ash and yarn on top of him.

He was covered in black soot. It was all over his pale skin, turning his hair a dark gray and making his eyes a startlingly bright blue.

“See,” I said, spreading my arms. “I knew you could do it. And you wanted to call the fire department.”

He didn’t say a word. He was staring at me, or more specifically my boobs.

I looked down.

“Elf balls.”

 

Author Info

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!

Mailing List / Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / Bookbub

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