Guest Blog by Thomas S. Flowers
As a horror fan I feel rather
fortunate that so many of my favorite thrillers released on the year of my
birth. A quick Google re-search will reveal a VHS candy store of goody gore and
lovable murderers, from The Thing to Poltergeist to Halloween III (the one
without Myers) to Amityville II: The Possession (the one that was like The
Exorcist but with incest) to The New York Ripper to Pieces, Parasite, The
Slumber Party Massacre, and... Friday the 13th...PART 3D (cue groovy disco music).
And among the other entries in the franchise, PART 3D is I would say my second
favorite. There are many factors that play into my rating but unless you've
seen it you probably won't understand. So, do me a solid and go pop in that
flayed VHS cause this review will be chopped full of SPOILERS. Readers...you
have been warned!
Directed
by: Steve Miner
Writing
Credits: Martin Kitrosser, Carol Watson,
and Sean S. Cunningham.
Music
by: Harry Manfredini
Special
effects: Martin Becker
Release
Date: 13 August 1982 (USA)
"Having revived from his
wound, Jason Voorhees takes refuge at a cabin near Crystal Lake. As a group of
co-eds arrive for their vacation, Jason continues his killing spree."
Among many reasons why I love
Friday the 13th part III, one would be that it is the first true Jason Voorhees
slasher. Yup. Obviously part 1 was really about mommy Voorhees, a character who
wasn't even given a first name until...what, part 2? And while fantastic in its
own right, it was not a "Jason" movie, not yet anyway. Now some would
say, "But hey, Tommy, what about part 2? Isn't that considered a Jason
Voorhees movie, it does have Jason in it after all?" And I would of course
nod my head knowledgeably. Yes, part 2 does have Jason...but not the Jason. What
we got was a backwoods deranged potato sack wearing weirdo who at times
certainly had classic Jason mannerisms, but in the end still just an inbred
acting mongoloid. Now that said, part 2 has its charm and some really excellent
kills, but if you want Jason as we love him today (hockey mask and all), you
gotta start with part 3.
Part 3 is also really awesome
because it has what every good indie horror movie should, a cast a
unrecognizable actors and actresses. While still young, parts 1 and 2 had some
fairly recognizable cast members, including Kevin Bacon, John Furey (a known TV
actor), Harry Crosby (son if Bing Crosby), and not to mention the late great
Betsy Palmer who was one of the most veteran and highly respected actors on
set. Part 3? Nadda. They didn't even have Chong, of the Cheech and Chong
variety, star as the lead stoner, instead they dressed some dude named Chuck in
a blue bandanna, green button down, and red pants with not quite as much weed
as Up In Smoke.
I'd be amiss not to comment on
what PART 3 has no other addition does. Shelly. Shelly is the best part of this
movie. From humble awkward to cartoonish to a astonishingly flamboyant runner,
Shelly is still by far my favorite character in the film. Sure, he fails to get
the girl Vera and he's socially immature, who isn't?!? Shelly does have a few
things going for him. Sweet yo-yo skills and a magic box that is literally
"his entire world" full of tricks and gags to annoy the entire gang
of friends, and the largest white-boy fro ever shot on a 3D film. On a low par, I wasn't all that thrilled with
leading lady Chris Higgins (Dana Kimmell).
She seemed too annoyed at times. Bored. And too drawl. The best part
about her, I thought, was her really strange back story of a previous
"unfilmed" encounter with Jason Voorhees. An encounter that sounded
almost as if it were some kind of sexual assault. Going back to the amazing
documentary
Crystal Lake Memories, actress
Dana Kimmell confirms this backstory, but she says that producers did not want
to pursue it in any kind of depth. This revelation is kinda dark for a Friday
the 13th film as they typically follow a blood, guts, and gags methodology.
So, we've covered the more manly
killing machine Jason. We got the actors. Next is the music. Harry Manfredini,
who scored most of the Friday the 13's, including the original, crafted one
hell of a soundtrack for this third installment. Part disco, part horror, 100%
awesomeness. It is also one of the few, if not only, horror sound track to
garner its own cover band by the name of Nilbog. Check them out on YouTube.
Link provided below.
But like any horror slasher
flick, there's gotta be a seemingly solid foundational plot. In PART 3, Chris
Higgins invites a gang of friends to include a pregnant bestie (who gets
slaughtered later btw...also a very dark moment for a Friday the 13th movie),
two stoners, a Mexican chick, and Shelly. They met up later with lurch looking
boytoy Rick (Paul Kratka). Events escalate into a series of weed smoking, beer
drinking, skinny dipping, practical jokes, and heartfelt life lessons until
Shelly and Vera end up pissing off a low-level biker gang. After Shelly runs
over some of their motorcycles, the b-squad gang vows revenge that never really
materializes. Instead, after following Shelly and Vera back to the cabin, they
are quickly dispatched by Jason.
After Chris goes off with Rick to
blow off some steam, the night consummates in more weed smoking and beer
drinking, a sexual encounter, and Shelly in a wet suit. I know, sounds amazing
doesn't it? Where does all this debauchery go? To one of the coolest kills.
Once Shelly is dispatched, Jason finally obtains his moniker look by putting on
the hockey mask that Shelly was so kind enough to bring along. Jeez, imagine if
he brought a faded Captain Kirk mask? Talk about a lawsuit! Anyways, with Jason
now complete, he causally strolls out on to the deck where a waiting Vera is
fishing for Shelly's dropped wallet on the edge of the lake. He aims at her,
much to her confusion, as she thinks he's Shelly. Just as she says,
"Wait...who are you?" Jason pulls the trigger on the speargun popping
her eye out the back of her head. Simply amazing. Its the small things folks.
More killings ensue until finally
Rick and Morty...oops, Rick and Chris arrive back at the cabin. With everyone
gone and blood everywhere, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two and
two together. During the attack, ole handsome lurch Rick gets his eyeball
popped out his socket, which must have been a real thrill for kids who matched
this back in 1982 in 3D. And finally, Chris and Jason go toe to toe. During the
struggle, one of the surviving bikers revives just to be killed again, but
distracting Jason long enough for Chris to throw a noose around Jason's neck
and shove him out the barn. When that proves useless, she plants an ax deep in
his skull. That seems to have done the trick and as the credits roll, the cabin
is surrounded by police and paramedics.
For me, my horror appetites are
not hard to please. And PART 3D, given some of its flaws, is a groovy good time
for a slasher flick, and especially a Friday the 13th slasher flick.
The Last Hellfighter
Thomas S. FlowersDate of Publication: August 10th 2018
Publisher: Darker Worlds Publishing
Cover Artist: Michael Bray
Genre: Historical Fiction/Horror
Tagline: They thought vampires were fantasy. They were wrong.
BLURB
In the year 2044, reporters from the Public Relations Ministry gather at the home of Benjamin Harker, the last surviving member of the Harlem Hellfighters. At the age of 144, he is the oldest recorded man alive. Hidden among them, Clyde Bruner is looking for a different kind of story. Across the United States, despite the Great Walls and patrol drones built to keep America secure, something has found its way in. And now towns are vanishing during the night. Entire populations, gone. Only to return after the sun sets, changed, unholy, and lethal. And whatever this evil is, its spreading west.
According to a bedtime story Bruner’s grandfather told him when he was a boy, Benjamin Harker has seen this before. He’s faced this scourge. Fought this evil. Survived them. Killed them. From the trenches of the Great War to the jungles of Vietnam to the sands of Iraq, Harker will search his past to save our future.
But as each city light extinguishes across the country, is there no time left to stop what’s coming?
Excerpt:
“Hey, Mr. Green.
Any ships due in tonight?”
“Huh?” the older
man grunted, his full attention glued to the small box television set. Family
Feud was on and Silas never missed an episode. As long as Julius had worked
with him at least, in these past four months on the night shift, the seasoned
longshoreman who acted very content with his life—who moved slow and never
liked causing “trouble,” as he called it, to his superiors, could recite the
most complex trivia questions.
Julius looked
back to his monitor. Part of his job was to watch for ships that may have
wandered off course, or even scheduled docks on the quay. The program displayed
on his monitor was linked to AIS Marine database that monitored all vessel
traffic around the world. He kept the screen displaying his assigned port—which
showed a few red, which meant docked and inactive. The one that concerned him
was another ship, inbound and blinking green.
“Mr. Green?”
Julius pressed.
The older black
man sighed loudly, turning away from his small TV screen. “What? Why the hell
would—listen son, you can’t let this job spook you. Working nights on the dock,
I know, the long hours can get to you. But trust me, this sure beats working
days out in that sun all day offloading ships.”
“But look,” the
younger longshoreman pointed his screen.
Frowning, Silas
rolled his chair over to the computer monitor. The green blinking ship
reflected off his thick glasses. He pushed them back up on his nose, “That
ain’t nothing, probably just a glitch in the system.”
Julius looked at
the screen and then out the large window that overlooked the Port of Jerusalem.
He’d just moved to town not more than six months prior from Bangor and he
wanted to make a good impression.
“Okay,” the
younger man said.
Silas nodded in
quiet victory and rolled back over to watch his show.
Julius continued
glaring at the blinking green ship as it approached the port on the screen. He
swallowed hard as it inched closer and closer. He glanced at the old man as he
howled at some man on the TV having missed a question that Silas thought was a
“no brainer.” On the monitor, the green
blinking ship was upon them. Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead.
Closer.
And closer.
“Mr. Green, I
don’t think is a glitch,” Julius protested.
Exhaling loudly,
Silas stood and turned. “Listen, young blood, I’ve been doing this job for
twenty years and I’ve never heard of no ship coming in that wasn’t on the
manifest.”
Julius shrugged.
“Yeah, but…” he gestured to the screen.
“There is no
ship coming—”
Just outside, a
large wave crashed against the port levee walls. A thunderous metallic screech
vibrated off the walls of the little trailer office on the wharf. Manuals and
notebooks and ship logs fell from the shelves as the ground itself felt as if
it was opening. The small TV still playing Family Feud rattled off the table
and crashed to the floor, sizzling out. The florescent bulbs above them burst
raining shards of glass and casting the room into a yellow gloom. The
horrendous grinding seemed to go on forever, shaking and shuddering the world.
And then it was
over.
Silas Green was
the first to prop himself off the floor. Looking around cautiously, as if any
wrong move would send the world into chaos again.
Julius propped
himself up, moving into a crouch. He peeked through the blinds. “What the heck
was that?”
“Shit!” the
older man hissed.
Julius glanced
over his shoulder at him. “What? You okay?”
Silas held up
what remained of his TV. “No, damn tube is busted.”
Shaking his
head, Julius peered back out the blinds. “I think we should go check the dock.”
He stood, not waiting for approval and went through the door of the office.
“Hold on, young
blood.” Silas gave the TV a final kiss—he’d had the device for more years than
he cared to confess, and then set it down on the floor as gently as he could.
Standing, he opened the bottom drawer of his desk and retrieved a flashlight.
Outside, Silas
trotted to catch up with Julius who was standing at the edge of the wharf
looking up into the gloom.
“Somethings out
there,” the young man said.
Silas wafted the
fog around his head. “Can’t see shit out here.”
“Use the
flashlight,” Julius suggested without taking his gaze from in front of him.
“Oh,” Silas
grunted, flicking on the switch. A beam of bright white broke apart the misty
smoke like haze. He shined out toward the wharf and at first still could not
see anything. And then the fog parted as if controlled by some unknown force,
separating and unfolding around a large cargo ship.
Silas traced the
hull to the edge of the ship deck. “Mother of God,” he whispered, taken back by
the sudden massive size of the ship. He’d never been this close to one. The
larger vessels normally dock at Freeport.
Julius stepped
toward him, asking, “What do we do?”
The older man
couldn’t think—this wasn’t on the schedule, the ship manifest, nothing. This
ship shouldn’t be here. The harbourmaster would have said something. Hell, his
superintendent would have damn sure said something. It would have been on the
log. Silas moved the beam of light to the wharf itself, noting the broken
shards of rock in the thick cement and the thick crack in the hull of the ship.
It was taking on water for sure—it hadn’t even bothered slowing down. It
ploughed into the quay. But why? Wasn’t there someone steering this damn thing?
This wasn’t right. Something about this—everything about this wasn’t right.
“Mr. Green?”
Julius pressed, whispering hotly.
Silas looked at
him, the kid was rattled; he was rattled. He took a deep breath. “Okay, listen,
I’m going to call this in—pray the lines in the office are still operating.
Here, take the flashlight.” He handed it to Julius. “Stay put, yell out if you
see anyone. Some dumbass is going to pay bigtime for this screwup and it ain’t
going to be you or me.”
He gave one
final glance at the monstrous freighter and started off for the office. Inside,
he could use the phone on the floor. He scooped it up and dialed his
supervisor.
“Green, there
better be a good fucking reason why you’re calling me at—” Silas’s
superintendent started through the speaker of the phone.
“A ship crashed
into the port,” Silas blurted.
“What?”
“A ship, some
damn cargo ship. Large motherfucker.”
“Are you fucking
with me?”
“No, I ain’t
fucking with you, sir. A cargo ship crashed into the port, took a good-sized
chunk out of our wharf too.”
“Was it on the
manifest?”
“No—that’s what
I’m saying. This ship ain’t supposed to be—”
A scream from
outside on the dock jarred Silas from the phone.
“Julius, what
the hell was that?”
“Green, what’s
going on?” his superintendent asked, sounding more and more irritated.
Silence.
“Green?”
“Hold on, sir.”
Silas set down the phone, ignoring the muffled protest from his superintendent
on the line. He glared at the open door and crept toward it. There were no
other sounds, and he didn’t like that one bit.
Stepping outside
he called, “Julius?”
It was hard to
see through the fog as it rolled across the walkway.
Silas squinted,
peering through the gloom turned yellow by the glow of the dock lights.
“Julius, what’s going on?” he called to the dark shape in front of him.
And then he
heard it.
A sucking sound.
He stopped.
The dark shape
unfolded.
The fog parted
slightly, revealing a tall, bald woman with pale skin. Her eyes burned red. She
was looking at him with an expression of mild satisfaction, the look of a
thirsty soul finally getting a cup of water. She was holding Julius, cradling
him almost as if they were dancing.
“Who are—” Silas
started, until he saw her teeth, her large fanged front teeth, salivating in
blood. He took a step back as she let Julius go. His body crumbled to the wet
dock.
“No,” Silas
managed to say, like a child refusing to go to bed.
And then she was
upon him.
Author Info
Who doesn't love a good story? Thomas's favorite books include All Quiet on the Western Front, Salem's Lot, and Hell House.
In his own writings, he aspires to create fantastic worlds with memorable characters and haunted places. His stories range from Shakespearean gore, classic monster tales, and even stories that hurt him the most to write about, haunted soldiers and PTSD. Residing in the swamps of Houston, Texas, with his wife and daughter, Thomas's debut novel, Reinheit, was eventually published with Shadow Work Publishing, along with Lanmò, The Hobbsburg Horror, FEAST, Beautiful Ugly, and Planet of the Dead.
His veteran focused paranormal thriller series, The Subdue Series, filled with werewolves, Frankenstein-inspired monsters, cults, alter-dimensional insects, witches, and the undead are published with Limitless Publishing.
In 2008, Thomas was honorably discharged from the U.S. Army where he served three tours in Operation Iraqi Freedom. In 2014, Thomas graduated from University of Houston-Clear Lake with a Bachelors in History. He is the senior editor at Machine Mean, a site that reviews horribly awesome and vintage horror movies and books from guest contributors who obsess over a wide range of strange yet oddly related topics.
Website https://thomassflowers.com/
Machine Mean https://machinemean.org/
Hosted by
Presented by
No comments:
Post a Comment